Buy my STUPID NEIGHBOR'S house!
All three of the homes seen here belong to one of my immediate neighbors, and all three are for sale. Unfortunately ONE of the neighbors is a BIG, STUPID JERK!
Now, I know what you're thinking.. "What does this BIG, STUPID JERK have to do with me?"
Here is my offer: all you have to do is figure out which home belongs to the BIG STUPID JERK NEIGHBOR, purchase the home, and...
...I'll throw a party for you and several of your friends after you move in!!!
That's right!! We'll have a party and celebrate the departure of the BIG STUPID JERK. I'll supply the food. I'll do all the cooking. All you have to do is bring your own adult beverages if you like, and supply some friends.
If you're in the market for a home anyway, why not buy one that comes complete with its own party? All YOU have to do is figure out which neigbor IS A BIG STUPID JERK.
I will give you one little hint; if you're talking to the current homeowner and you begin to get the uneasy feeling you are talking to a BIG STUPID JERK....
HAPPY HOUSE HUNTING!
SEPTEMBER UPDATE- Well, I guess you've noticed the BIG, RED X over one of the house photos. That X is even redder than the Big, Stupid Jerk's ass every time one of my golf balls lands in his yard!
Anyway, the house with the X has been sold! What does this mean to YOU? Well, it means that even though the real estate market may be in the shitter, it's still possible to sell a home. So you never know, if you don't hurry, the Big Stupid Jerk Neighbor's house could be sold before you get your chance to buy it!! Then you'd miss out on that swingin' party!
But look at the bright side- If you buy either one of the houses that are still for sale you have a 50/50 chance that it will be the Big Stupid Jerk's house!