Back to the Future III
I used to work for a fella that owned a Delorean. Kinda cool in a geeky sort of way. Once we had a client visit from somewhere in far-off Europe. He was telling the client "it's the Back to the Future car" but the client had never seen any of the movies. So the boss gave him the BTTF movie trilogy set as a lovely parting gift. I told the boss "You could have just stopped at the first movie." He glared at me for a few moments and walked away.
Here's the problem with BTTF III: It's pretty much 90 minutes of Michael J Fox running around dressed like an idiot regurgitating "DOC!... DOC!... DOC DOC!!... DOC!... DOC!!...."
You get the idea. It gets pretty tiresome after the first, oh, fifty DOC!s or so.
Don't believe me? Try this for fun one night (I did), get a copy of the movie, sit down and watch it with pencil and paper at the ready. When I say "at the ready" I mean "don't even think of putting that pencil down".
Every time you hear a DOC! come flying out of MJF's pie-hole record the event. By the time the movie is done you will have noted OVER 100 instances of DOC! - sometimes they come 2 or 3 in rapid succession!
For those of you that do not have your calculator handy that is an average of one DOC! approximately every 51 seconds. They really could have stopped after BTTF II.
BONUS FUN: Try keeping up on the "Great Scott!" count as well!
The Hobbitt
This is not an altogether bad movie, but there are a couple problems here.
First, this is just a whole lot more of what we've already seen in the Lord of the Rings Trilogy - a lot of the same characters, same locations, and same general plot. Viewing this movie and expecting to see something new is like going to another family gathering and thinking this time Uncle Jim won't get shit-faced and end up passed out on the driveway.
Second, There's not a lot of plot here. No real twists, turns, or big surprises. Pretty much the whole story gets set up in the first twenty minutes, and then you just watch another 2½ hours of RUUUUUN!!
FIIIIIGHT!!!!
RUUUUUUN!!!
FIIIIIIIGTH!
RUUUUUUUN!
FIIIIIIGHT!!!
ROOOOOLL CREEEDIIITS!!!!
So now, for your viewing edification, I present my condensed version of The Hobbitt for those of you that don't have 3 hours to kill...
