Gee whiz, Mr. Putin doesn't seem to mind....
Gallup has been collecting presidential polling data since 1937. And in that time, there are only TWO presidents who NEVER POLLED to at least a 50% approval rating.
Only two since 1937.
Okay, that's not exactly true. It's only one assfuck who just happened to be in the White House twice.
Listen MAGATs, keep in mind, these numbers are the HIGHEST your fuckhead leader ever polled. He couldn't even get one half of Americans to approve of his performance on his very best day. Bwahahahaha! Your boy is a fucking loser. SUCK IT MAGATs!
Oh, man, look at Biden comfortably over 50%, and Obama nearing 70%! Bwahahahah!
SEPTEMBER 22 2026
The FAILED BUSINESSMAN, CONVICTED FELON, and general asshat currently occupying The White House continued his unprecedented attack on the first amendment today.
In addition to the three news agencies Shitface banned from the white house, there are now FIVE others voluntarily choosing not to cover the White House in protest - Fox News, ABC, CBS, CNN and NBC.
Dumbass is already pissing and moaning on social media about Judge Kelly, assigned to the case. Kelly restored press access to CNN correspondent Jim Acosta in 2018 after you-know-who had his White House press credentials stripped. In his scree, Diarhea-brain wrote: "It is called the Oval Office, and it should be treated with Decorum, Respect, and Dignity, not defiled by Third Rate Clowns.... blah blah blah, etc, etc, etc...." You get the point.
Apparently only FIRST-rate ass-clowns are allowed in the oval office, two of whom can be seen in this photo. The astute observer will note there is also a small child in the photo.
SEPTEMBER 21 2026
The CONVICTED SEXUAL ABUSER, felon, and alleged "president" once again took a big, steamning shit on THE CONSTITUTION, which he took an oath to defend, and signed another stupid executive order banning three news agencies from entering the White House - CNN, MS NOW, and Politico.
I won't do him the justice of repeating his reasons. Suffice it to say he just doesn't like it when folks tell the truth instead of getting on their knees and sucking.
The three banned agencies quickly filed a lawsuit, which - you heard it here first - they will no doubt win. In addition, major television networks, including NBC, CBS, and ABC, declared they would not participate in the White House press pool.
As I said, shitty pants will lose this lawsuit in short order. Then he'll appeal to a higher court. And he'll lose the appeal. Then he'll appeal to the Supreme Court. And he'll lose again.
Here it is, spelled out... Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
Maybe Captain Combover thinks that since HE isn't congress, he can shit all over the first amendment. But the courts will set him straight on the issue. AGAIN.
Here is Mr. Transparency getting along swimmingly with the White House press. Oh, and could someone in the room do us all a favor and bitch-slap that smug smile of Oz' face?
SEPTEMBER 11 2026
The CONVICTED SEXUAL ABUSER and felon known as our current "president" took time out from his busy day to attend a ceremony at the Pentagon to pay homage to the 2,977 Americans who lost their lives in the terrorist attacks 25 years ago.
So how did this asshat show his respect?
HE TOOK A FUCKING NAP.
If Melania didn't sign a pre-nup thicker than the Encyclopedia Brittanica, she would have ditched the asshole years ago. Jesus Christ, just look at her face. It's hard to tell if she's disgusted he fell asleep again or she's smelling his shit-filled diaper. Or both. Either way, she could have done much better, and she knows it.
AUGUST 17 2026
The CONVICTED SEXUAL ABUSER known as our current "president" was convicted in May of 2023 in a civil case for sexually abusing a woman in a New York department store dressing room. But the judge presiding over the trial was more explicit, writing
"The finding that Ms. Carroll failed to prove that she was 'raped' within the meaning of the New York Penal Law does not mean that she failed to prove that Mr. Trump 'raped' her as many people commonly understand the word 'rape,'" Kaplan wrote. "Indeed, as the evidence at trial recounted below makes clear, the jury found that Mr. Trump in fact did exactly that."
The convicted defendant was order to pay $5 MILLION to his victim.
As is his habit, he appealed the verdict, and the appeals court told him to pay the woman.
As is his habit, he appealed to the Supreme Court of the United States, because, you know, he has a lot of pals on the court.
The Supreme Court rejected his bid and told him to pay the woman.
In his typical fashion, he AGAIN asked the Supreme Court to listen to his whining pleas and they AGAIN told him to go pound sand and declined to hear his case.
JUSTICE HAS PREVAILED.
And now Donald J Trump has hired this SOULLESS FUCKING WHORE as his personal mouthpiece. And when I say personal mouthpiece, I don't just mean she espouses his total fucking nonsense on a daily basis (which she does), I mean she has his putrid old dick firmly ensconsed in her mouth. But at least she's geting well paid. So that counts for something.
But at least she looks happy about her career decision. By the way, where the hell does she buy her clothes? Gramma Gertrude's Resale Shop?
JULY 5 2026
Captain Pants On Fire has seen his vaunted self-serving shitshow of a national fair suffer from numerous setbacks - dangerous weather, dangerous stages, power failures, multiple musical acts and states choosing not to participate, and not least of all - abyssmal attendance.
But of course, that didn't stop him from boldly announcing during one of his idiotic, rambling speeches that attendance was 375,000 people. WTF?!?!?
I think if you remove all three zeroes from that figure, the remaining number, while admittedly low, would be far closer to the truth. He and his confederates over at FUX News continue to try to convince the American public the National Mall is "packed" with attendees.
Yessiree, if THAT ain't 375 THOUSAND people, I don't know what is!
JUNE 22 2026
Our free election hating turd of a "president" tried to use social security data as a way to purge voter rolls to his advantage. You know, only uneducated MAGATs driving rusty pickup trucks should be allowed to vote.
If it's RUSTY, it's probably TRUMPY
Some of you may not recall, BUT I DO, that the Elon Musk-led abomination called DOGE forcefully infiltrated multiple federal agencies gathering all kinds of data on American citizens. And for what purpose?...
...anyway, in unrelated news, today US District Judge Sparkle Sooknanan smacked down Shitty Pants, stating "All in all, the federal government has knowingly trampled on the privacy rights of American citizens in a manner that threatens the sacred right to vote. This Court cannot stand idly by while that happens,"
Some of you MAGATs out there may think it's cute to see someone else lose their right to vote. BUT MAKE NO MISTAKE - the ultimate goal is to take away EVERYONE'S RIGHT TO VOTE - YOURS INCLUDED. Keep watching FUX News, losers.
JUNE 19 2026
Our lying turd of a "president" continues to alienate our allies while getting all chummy with our adversaries.
First, he couldn't be bothered to get his fat ass to a G7 meeting on time, showing up an hour late and declaring himself "the boss".
Then, he falsely claimed to an Italian broadcaster that Italian Prime Minister Giorgia Meloni "begged" for a photo with him at the summit. Meloni described Trump's claim as "totally fabricated" and went on to question his behavior towards allies.
In response, Italian Foreign Minister Antonio Tajani called Trump's comments "serious" and "offensive," and cancelled a planned trip to the U.S.
JUNE 8 2026
A federal judge on Monday voided President Donald Trump's requirement of a $100,000 application fee for H-1B visas, ruling that he lacked authority to impose the new policy for a program used by companies to hire highly skilled foreign workers in specialized fields. US District Judge Leo Sorokin said that only Congress had the power to change federal immigration policy to include such a requirement, which he viewed as a tax, and that lawmakers had not given the executive branch permission to unilaterally make the change.
Natalie Baldassarre, another cock-sucking sycophant employed as a DOJ spokesperson, said the DOJ "is committed to protecting American workers and fully supports President Asswipe's America First agenda." Fantastic, Natalie. Sounds like today's DOJ is a fully independent "department" of the government. Looking out for American workers, my ass, cunt.
Hi!, I'm Natalie! I gave up all my dignity and now I just suck that putrid little mushroom dick.
JUNE 6 2026
Asshat's (alleged) decision to abandon his $1.8 billion IRS settlement didn't defuse the legal crisis surrounding it, only shifted the target.
Sabrina Haake, a 25-year federal litigator argues that Trump dropped the so-called anti-weaponization fund not because of political pressure ahead of the midterms, but to avoid forcing the appointment of a third attorney general. The real threat, she writes, came from an extraordinary intervention by 35 retired federal judges.
Those judges filed a motion to reopen Trump's IRS case on suspicion of fraud against the court. Their motion accused the DOJ of deceiving Judge Williams by announcing a settlement publicly without notifying the court, then using that settlement as legal justification for transferring $1.8 billion in taxpayer money to Trump, his family, and his businesses while purporting to release all federal claims against them.
The judges called it "most egregious conduct involving a corruption of the judicial process itself," writing that the parties "used the proceedings before this Court as a legal pretext" while working to prevent the court from determining whether a legitimate case even existed. If Trump controlled both sides of the same case and personally profited from the outcome, the judges reasoned, there was no legal controversy, only theft.
At the center of it is THE COCK SUCKING ASSHOLE Todd Blanche, who moved to dismiss the case days before a brief outlining the court's jurisdiction was due, and he failed to assert basic defenses the DOJ was legally obligated to raise. His failure to mount any defense, the judges wrote, "... emphasizes the fraudulent nature of the settlement... " and "strengthens the conclusion that the litigation was collusive... "
Judge Williams ordered the DOJ to respond to the fraud accusations by June 14. Blanche will be editing that brief knowing that in New York, where he is licensed to practice law, committing fraud upon the court is grounds for immediate suspension or permanent disbarment. Stripping larceny from the equation, Haake concludes, does nothing to resolve the underlying fraud finding. The money may be off the table. The judges' accusations are not.
I guess I'm Giuliani-style ass-fucked by this clown.
APRIL 13 2026
King douchebag posted an image of himself as some kind of holy person apparently healing an ill Jon Stewart.
The picture was met by some pretty widespread and vociferous criticism, including from his Christian and Catholic supporters. The senile old fool quickly removed the image from his account, and made the outrageous claim it was supposed to be him as a doctor.
If he were a doctor, I would suggest he specialize in proctology so perhaps he could locate his own head.
APRIL 7 2026
What can I say? I'll just let the image do the talking...
APRIL 5 2026
The AssHat-in-chief posted a nice, Christianly Easter thought at 8:30 in the morning...
Meanwhile, an open letter has been written by over 100 U.S.-based international law experts detailing profound concerns about the war. The letter is signed by international law experts across the United States, including senior professors; leaders of prominent international law associations, non-governmental organizations, and legal clinics; former government legal advisors; and military law experts and former Judge Advocates General (JAGs).
The letter can be seen in its entirety by clicking on this ugly butt-face, unhinged motherfucker....
APRIL 3 2026
On April 1 the AssHat-in-chief updated our nation on the status of his stupid, pointless fucking war, claiming the U.S. military had "beaten and completely decimated Iran... They have no anti-aircraft equipment... Their radar is 100% annihilated. We are unstoppable as a military force."
APRIL FOOLS!
Less than 48 hours later Tehran shot down a U.S. F-15E fighter jet, and also struck two Blackhawk helicopters and an attack jet that were assisting in the search and rescue effort for the crew of the F-15.
You know, it's almost mind-boggling how this stupid fuck
continues to find new, creative ways to make a complete and total ass of himself for all the world to see.
But you have to hand it to the Iranians, they're taking it all with good humor, trolling the fucking idiot on social media.... "After defeating Iran 37 times in a row, this brilliant no-strategy war they started has now been downgraded from 'regime change' to 'Hey! Can anyone find our pilots? Please?' Wow. What incredible progress. Absolute geniuses."
APRIL 2 2026
Another one of the convicted rapist's cock sucking whores got the axe...
PAM BONDI. Attor.... oops! MY BAD! ... FORMER attorney general.
Turns out she just wasn't proficient at persecuting the orange ape's perceived enemies in a timely fashion. BYE BITCH.
You're just another dumbass who learned the hard way what everyone in New York already knows. Stupid cunt.
Here's Pam in a HAPPIER time, so young, so innocent, looking forward to a successful career...
...and here's Pam on her way out, realizing she's just another dumbfuck who got used and discarded by our Ass-Hat in chief...
How... could I... have been... so... FUCKING STUPID!?
APRIL 1 2026
Asshat is trying to end birthright citizenship in the U.S. He posted "We are the only Country in the World STUPID enough to allow Birthright Citizenship!" Once again... WRONG. At least THIRTY other countries do. But you just keep spewing nonsense you senile old fool.
Meanwhile his US Solicitor General John Sauer argued to the Supreme Court that "...8 billion people are one plane ride away from having a child who's a US citizen."
OK, dumbass, time for an elementary school level lesson. There are appoximately 8.3 billion persons currently alive on the planet. So according to your argument 96% of them...
A. Possess a functioning uterus.
B. Have access to a functioning penis or in-vitro fertilization.
C. Have a desire to have a child in the U.S.A.
D. Can afford, or have access to an airline ticket to the U.S.A.
Sauerpuss
Turns out simple math isn't really his specialty.
March 21 2026
Well people, today FuckFace disparaged a Marine veteran, a man who graduated from Ranger School, was awarded a Purple Heart, and received a Bronze Star w/ Valor for rescuing one of his wounded soldiers under intense enemy fire. On the day of Robert Mueller's passing, the Orange Ape wrote "...I'm glad he's dead..."
Wow. Very presidential. There is no bottom to how low this mother fucking, raping, daughter-kissing, convicted felon piece of shit will go. But if you're a MAGAt, thanks for voting this worthless turd back into office. How's those gas prices treating your rusty POS pickup truck?.
March 19 2026
Good news, my fellow Americans, fuckface insulted the Prime Minister of Japan right to her face, telling her "...you didn't warn us about Pearl Harbor...".
Jeezus H. Christ. For the love of god. What will this human turd do next?
March 18 2026
Good news, my fellow Americans, crude oil prices, and gas prices continue to rise. Gas in this country is now approaching $4 per gallon. Just a couple weeks ago it was about $3. Not all of you, but some of you dumbasses voted for this when you voted for the fat slug that is now our "president". Good job.
Here's the gag... fuckface has repeatedly stated that gas prices will rapidly drop to pre-war levels quickly, as soon as the war is over.
This lying mother-fucker has repeatedly stated that the war is over... to quote... "I think the war is very complete, pretty much,".
this statement coming from the comfort of his Florida, golf club.
Wow. Must be nice hanging out at your private club running a failed war, declaring victory, while on the other side of the planet the war goes on and people - including U.S. military service members are dying.
OK, so... if the war is over, why aren't gas prices going down....?? Where is the truth in this? The war ISN'T over? Or it is over and gas prices aren't going to come "quickly", as claimed?
I'll tell you the truth......this war isn't over. This war is going to go on for a long time. Months, maybe years. And before it ends gas prices will top $5 per gallon. So thank you, MAGAts, for re-electing one of the worst presidents of the last hundred years. Have fun paying $5 a gallon filling the gas tanks of your rusted-ass pickup trucks with your dumbass MAGA stickers on the rear window.
March 17 2026
Our fucking moron of a "president" has asked some NATO allies if they could spare a little time to help him get the Strait of Hormuz secured so ships can pass through safely. Seems his little adventure isn't doing him any favors at home politically and he needs someone to help him clean up the mess. So far, none of the NATO members have capitulated to this request. And now butt-face is lashing out at them. What this idiot can't seem to grasp is that NATO is a defensive alliance - when one member nation comes under attack other members will come to its aid. It isn't about helping out when some fool launches an ill-advised, poorly defined, unprovoked attack on a sovereign nation in another part of the world.
Now our director of the National Counterterrorism Center, Joe Kent, has announced his resignation, saying he "cannot in good conscience" back the administration's war. Kent wrote that Iran "...posed no imminent threat to our nation..."
As always, dumbass speaks out of both sides of his mouth, bragging that the war is over -gee, I don't recall Iran surrendering or signing an armistice - while still begging for aid in the ongoing conflict.
Maybelline-face seems to be suffering from selective memory loss, conveniently forgetting he has threatened to FORCIBLY TAKE OVER two of those NATO members - Canada and Greenland, a territory belonging to Denmark, and has levied ridiculous tariffs on every other country in the world, friend and foe alike. Wow. With allies like THAT, who needs enemies.
Just adding to the insult, the insurrectionist/rapist/pedophile/convicted criminal has lifted sanctions against Russian oil in a failed bid to control rising petroleum prices. How nice. Now Russia has some extra cash to continue attacking Ukraine, a country our NATO allies have been helping since day 1 of that war.
I guess I wouldn't make a good world leader, because if I were, and he asked me for aid in his stupid war, I would publicly tell him
TO TAKE HIS WAR, HIS TAKEOVER THREATS, AND HIS TARIFFS AND GO FUCK HIMSELF.
March 7 2026
Our Idiot In Chief gave new meaning to the term ass-hat, attending the Dignified Transfer for six U.S. soldiers who lost their lives in his unprovoked, ill-defined war on Iran choosing to wear - throughout the entire ceremeony - a fucking baseball hat from his line of overpriced, stupid campaign merch.
"I wonder what's for lunch?"
Like a bored, fidgety child in church, he diddled with his coat buttons and struggled to stand still for more than a few seconds at a time.
A lot of folks called him out, including former Republican National Committee chairman Michael Steele, who wrote "It is called the Dignified Transfer for a reason. Take your fucking hat off."
As for the always truthful FOX NEWS, they chose to air footage of the stupid fuck at a previous Dignified Transfer - not wearing a hat.
March 5 2026
Donald J Trump, our Ass-Hat in chief, has fired everyone's favorite Cosplay MILF, former DHS secretary Kristi Gnome.
Not surprisingly, this announcement comes after a brutal grilling in congress that included questions about a 200 million dollar ad campaign featuring Gnome basically promoting herself, the brutality of ICE agents, deaths in detention facilities, another 380 million dollars blown on luxurious aircraft, etc, etc....
Unfortunately we may not be totally rid of this dog-shooting bitch just yet, as Agent Orange has announced she will now be moved to a new position in the as-yet non-existent "SHIELD of the americas". Some bullshit he no doubt thought up while watching a Marvel movie.
February 2026
The Trump administration tried and failed to indict Democratic lawmakers over a video urging members of the military and intelligence communities not to comply with unlawful orders - in other words, hold to their oaths.
Dipshit had accused the Democratic lawmakers of "SEDITIOUS BEHAVIOR, punishable by DEATH!" after the video came out.
Federal grand juries can have 16 to 23 members. Only 12 need to agree that the government had probable cause to indict, a threshold much lower than the unanimous and beyond a reasonable doubt standard needed for a conviction in a criminal trial.
So how many on the grand jury agreed with the government's case? Was it just under the 12 required for indictment - say 10 or 11?
NOPE.
Maybe about half, say 5, 6, 7?
NOPE.
One or two?
NOPE.
FUCKING ZERO.
It is rare for a federal grand jury to reject prosecutors' attempts to secure an indictment. The vast majority of assistant U.S. attorneys will go their entire careers without being rejected by a grand jury like this. But the dumbass lawyers who attempted to bring this case are just Dipshit's political appointees, not career prosecutors. The charge was led by Jeanine Pirro, another idiot Trump culled from Fox.
Better luck next time, bitch.
February 10 2026
The Ass-Hat occupying OUR White House, in yet another one of his deranged, late night, sleep deprivation-fueled
Is that Bell's Palsey in your pocket or are you just happy to sleepy?
posts, announced he would prevent the opening of the recently completed Gordie Howe International Bridge. Like the uninformed, ignorant dolt that he is, Captain Dipshit claimed that Canada will own both sides of the bridge. WRONG. The bridge is publicly owned by the governments of Canada and Michigan. Canada footed the bill for construction in exchange for all tolls for thirty years.
Bound and determined to further display his unawareness of simple facts, the orange ape claimed that the bridge was built with "virtually no U.S. content". WRONG AGAIN. Another swing and a miss. Now you're 0 for 2. All the steel used on the Michigan side of the river was produced in the U.S.
Then, just to add a sprinkling of dementia-driven nonsense, he went on to claim China is going to "eliminate the Stanley Cup" if Canada deepens trade ties with Beijing.
Seriously, this is not a mentally well person.
Tell me about da rabbits, George...
In unrelated news, it was revealed later that Matthew Moroun, whose family owns the Ambassador Bridge just mile upstream, gave $1 million to a PAC that supports DumbAss shortly before he threatened to block the opening of the new bridge. Go figure.
February 2026
The "president" of the United States of America plans to keep certain Democrats out of a traditionally bipartisan White House gathering of governors held as part of the National Governors Association annual Washington summit. ... the president also revoked invitations sent to Maryland Gov. Wes Moore (D), the NGA vice chair; and Colorado Gov. Jared Polis (D) to attend a second White House event scheduled to occur around the summit: a dinner for governors.
It might -I would argue should- be noted Governor Moore is the only black State Governor currently serving in our proud, democratic, forward-thinking country.
Bwahahahaha! See what I did there? Read on, friends....
February 6 2026
Our dipshit "president" of the United States of America, posts a blatantly racist meme depicting a former president and first lady as apes.
This is how House Democratic Leader Hakeem Jeffries, the first Black leader of a party in Congress, responded: "President Obama and Michelle Obama are brilliant, compassionate and patriotic Americans. They represent the best of this country. Donald Trump is a vile, unhinged and malignant bottom feeder."
The Trumper himself denied having seen the entire video and claimed it was posted by a staffer without his knowledge.
Now, there are two possibilities...
A. He's telling the truth. Not likely. But if he is telling the truth, it should raise some serious questions, such as - why does a staffer have apparently unfettered access to the social media account of our "president", one of the most powerful persons on the planet, freedom to post willy-nilly without checking in with the boss?
People, including important and powerful people, all over the planet pay close attention to the Trumper and it doesn't seem like such a keen idea someone should be posting bullshit at random on his social platform without his consent.
B. He's lying. More likely.
As for
she suggested to the press they should "please stop the fake outrage and report on something today that actually matters to the American public."
Nice try,
But the outrage isn't fake, it does matter to much of the American public.
Unless, like Trump you are an unapologetic racist.
Now, just to translate from Cuntish to English, what she said was "Why don't you people stop asking questions, get with the program, regurgitate our lies, and just act like the propaganda arm of this administration. You know, like those nice cooperative folks at Fox and Newsmax.".
April 27 2025
A CNN poll showed that Dipshit's approval ratings had plummeted as he approached the hundred-day mark of his presidency. Only 41 percent of respondents approved of his job performance, the lowest any president has polled at the one hundred-day mark in SEVEN DECADES.
April 26 2025
The Stupid-Fuck-in-Chief met with Volodymyr Zelenskyy and discussed Russia's recent killing of Ukranian civilians. Later the dumbass posted there was "no reason for Putin to be shooting missiles into civilian areas, cities and towns, over the last few days. It makes me think that maybe he doesn't want to stop the war, he’s just tapping me along." For fuck's sake, man. GET A FUCKING CLUE!
Dumbass also traveled to Rome to attend the funeral of Pope Francis, where he broke the Vatican dress code by wearing a blue suit. He was also seen checking his phone and chewing gum. After only fourteen hours in Rome. He told aides that he wanted to return to his golf resort in New Jersey by the end of the day.
Could someone start a Go Fund Me page to get this poor retard a black suit?!
According to cost-per-hour numbers available for flying air force one, it cost American taxpayers somewhere in the range of 2.9 to 3.7 million dollars for fuckface to go make an ass of The United States on the international stage, again.